Blog Tools
Edit your Blog
Build a Blog
RSS Feed
View Profile
« February 2003 »
S M T W T F S
1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28
You are not logged in. Log in
Entries by Topic
All topics  «
scareykatt
scareykatt
Angelfire
MSN LIVE
Yahoo Group
Netscape
Group Two
Lycos Home
Blog Anywhere
Blog Reader
Lycos Search
Wired News
iVillage Links
Baby Calendar
Baby Care
Breastfeeding
Being a Mom
scareykatt
Saturday, 1 February 2003

HIV Window
By Kazz Falcon

My boyfriend and I had a fabulous relationship
Our love was so passionate, loving and caring
Nothing could ever tear our love apart
We was on top of the world
One night, I wasn’t feeling well
I was feverish
I threw up couple of times
I thought it was something I ate
I slept it off till the morning
Damn, I was still sick to my stomach
I paid a visit to my doctor
He checked me out
He was curious about something
I wondered what
He asked, “If I ever had an HIV test?”
God, I took it once before
There wasn’t a need for a new one
I hardly fool around, let alone do drugs
Couple weeks later, the doctor gave me the news
I was HIV positive
How could it be?
I know my lover didn’t have it
We didn’t do drugs or slept around
To be on the safe side, the doctor checked him out too
He turned out to be HIV negative
We was both shocked
What happened?
How could I got it and he doesn’t?
The doctor explained I had it for a while
I was in the window; it didn’t show up at all
This time, HIV appeared on the test
My lover and I need to learn to live with it
Of course, we need to practice safe sex
My boyfriend wanted me double up on the condoms
He doesn’t want the virus
And I didn’t want to give it to him either
Our safety comes first


Posted by scareykatt at 2:57 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Friday, 31 January 2003

HIV Plead
By Kazz Falcon

I got home from work
My lover wasn’t pleased with me about something
I had never saw him that angry before
We had small fights
Then we kissed and made up
This time, it was quite different
I saw the fire in his eyes
He didn’t hold back at all
He claimed I couldn’t be trusted
I put his life on the line
Dear lord, I had a feeling he knows
I was being so careful with the secret
He accidentally saw my meds in the closet
He was looking for something nice to wear tonight
We supposed to celebrate our six-month anniversary
I wished he didn’t have my apartment key
I should have known better
I thought he wouldn’t ever find out
I wasn’t being careless
I was in the perfect health
I tried to calm him down
I wanted to hold him
He pushed me away
I didn’t mean any harm at all
He slapped me around the face
I pleaded with him to understand
I just wanted to be love
No one ever wants a HIV lover
I meant well
He got to believe that
Yes, what I did was wrong
I should have tell him in the beginning
I couldn’t bare the thought of losing love again
I didn’t want to lose him at all
He was my man, my man to love
I can’t live without his love
He means the world to me
I wanted to be love
What was wrong of loving someone?
He threw the dirty little secret in my face
I put his life at risk, a death sentence
How come I do such a nasty thing?
He claimed I should be arrest for attempted murder
He can’t call the police, he just can’t
Love conquers all
We would get through this together
I promised there weren’t any more secrets
Everything was out in the open
I felt guilty for keeping it from him
Come on, dear, you can get over it
He slapped me again
He made a good point, how could he?
He doesn’t know he have the HIV virus.
It would be weeks to know
I wished I could take the HIV back from him
He doesn’t deserve the disease
He mentioned that I deserved it and even AIDS
Please, I was begging him
Take me back
Take me back
I got on my knees, pleading with him
My tears speak volumes
I need him in my life to love
He wouldn’t heard of it
He gave me the key back and stormed out of my apartment
I lost him forever
God, What have I done?
I only wanted to be love
Is that a crime?
I didn’t want to be alone
I only wanted to be love by someone special


Posted by scareykatt at 2:56 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, 30 January 2003

Terrible Secret
By Kazz Falcon

I had a wonderful boyfriend
I was truly in love with him
I couldn’t stop thinking about him day and night
He was the most caring, loving person I ever love
Our love was just perfect as God’s love
He was the only man for me
We were committed to each other
We basically saw each other about every day
We didn’t have time for anyone else
We wanted to spend every waking moment
We had a blast everywhere we go
We didn’t want the love to end
It hurts to tell you
Our love didn’t last at all
He withheld something important from me
I couldn’t believe it at all, not for a second
I was beyond shock
It destroyed my feelings for him
He kept a secret from me
All this time, I didn’t know he was HIV positive
My God! We had unsafe sex
He didn’t like the feel of the condoms
Damn, I should have listen to my gut feelings
I got so freaking angry
Why didn’t he tell me about his HIV status?
He has some nerves
He claimed he loved me with all his heart
How could he do that to me?
Keeping secrets wasn’t love
It was lies, lies and more lies
Wait till I see him
I will give him a piece of my mind
He would regret the day we met at the club
Damn, we should have been more careful for sex
If I became HIV positive, I would kill him
I wished I didn’t find his HIV medication by accidentally
Our love was perfect
He destroyed my life from that terrible secret


Posted by scareykatt at 2:55 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 29 January 2003

Daddy’s Death
By Kazz Falcon

My daddy recently died from cancer
We were on the way to his funeral
I just don’t understand at all
My daddy was supposed to be there for us
Yet, he remained cold and silence
I wished he could talk to me again
Or play ball with me
I missed his love and hugs
Why couldn’t he be there for the baby and me?
The baby needs him more than I do
I was only five year old
My oldest brother was blessed to have a dad all his life
He just gave up his job for us
He wouldn’t go back to Hollywood
He would pick up where daddy left off
I wasn’t happy at all
A huge piece from my heart left a void
Everyone was hurting
Our father was my life
I don’t care for the Hollywood stars
He was the perfect role model for me
Things was never be the same without daddy
He made us laugh, cried, obedient, love and others
He told us wonderful stories about his life
I will always remember him
My baby sister would remember him too
I will pass his stories on to her
I will tell her everything our loving daddy
My mother and brother helped me to cope with daddy’s death


Posted by scareykatt at 2:55 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 28 January 2003

Father’s Last Days
By Kazz Falcon

My father was dying from cancer
He hasn’t that much to live
I haven’t seen him in years
My mother wanted all the kids be there for his last days
She was expecting the worst any day
I was the oldest
I had to be there for my siblings
They would need all the support from me
Their eyes was in sorrow
I need to be brave for them
Some of them wouldn’t take it
The second youngest was five year old
He may not understand death that well
He was the most heartbroken of them all
Our father was his role model
He looked up to him
He doesn’t want him to go
He needs his daddy
It just broke my heart for him
The other kid was just a baby
She wouldn’t know her daddy
She has no memories at all
She will grow up without a daddy
Well, I decided something
It will make my sibs very happy
Since they need a role model, I could be it for them
Our father was the best dad we ever had
He was a good role model too
I would give up my job in Hollywood and move back home
There was no ands, buts or ifs about it
My family really needs me
They need structure in their young lifes
Our daddy was leaving soon


Posted by scareykatt at 2:50 AM EST
Updated: Sunday, 1 October 2006 2:52 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 27 January 2003

Hollyweird Freak
By Kazz Falcon

I met this wonderful person online
We had so many things in common
We loved the beaches, the mountains, the malls and more
We basically talked every night online
It was a wonderful feeling I finally found someone to my liking
We didn’t want to rush into anything fast
Let love happen for us
He wanted to meet me at a coffee shop
I declined; I don’t drink coffee
He suggested a movie
I was tempted, but declined
There wasn’t any movie I want to see at that time
I was more into classics
He suggested eating out
I would love to, but…
Forget about it
I was known as a Hollyweird freak
I haven’t tell him my real nature
Some people wouldn’t “understand” me at all
All the times, he wanted to meet
I refused every single time
I don’t want to be bother with those people
The truth was I was protecting myself from hurt
It is all I could do right now
I need to get to know them better
Then, I will know I could trust them
If trust wasn’t there, I want no part of them
Love may be around the corner
The hurt was too deep to trust anyone
I can’t let it happen ever again
Shallow people hurt me so many times
No one could fix the pain I had
I just can’t take any risks
I know deep down I would get hurt again


Posted by scareykatt at 2:54 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Sunday, 26 January 2003

Euthanasia Case
By Kazz Falcon

Things didn’t go as plan in court
I was really in deep water
The jury found me guilty of the murders
The court banned me from ever being a nurse
I was in disbelieved
I can’t gasp of the murder charges
I was only helping the patience with their dying wish
Yet, no one believed the honest truth
What have I done to deserve prison time?
Damn, I wished I was more secretive
They wouldn’t suspect a thing at all
I don’t feel guilty what I did
I helped them the best way I know how
I was against the wall
I denied that I wanted to kill them
I wanted to ease the patients' suffering through death.
Euthanasia was illegal in Hungary
Damn, I didn’t knew that
That was my downfall
I should have been more careful with the murders
The patience expressed to have their life terminated
In my case, euthanasia wasn’t in my favor
I was branded as a cold-blooded murderer in court


Posted by scareykatt at 2:48 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Saturday, 25 January 2003

Was I Guilty Of The Murders?
By Kazz Falcon

Was I guilty of the murders?
I was a nurse at a Hungary hospital
The patients’ pain was too much to take
They couldn’t bare it any longer
They were too weak to do anything
My heart goes out for them
I wished I could help them somehow
They knew of a way to make it happen
Lethal injection will end the pain for them
That was a fabulous ideal
The law was the furthest thing from my mind
I shouldn’t get in that much trouble
They wanted my help
I can’t let them down
They were depending on me
I had a good reason at night
I might as well do the injection on my work shift
No one will be suspicious of the deaths
It was the act of God
It was their time to go
I was their only solution and hope
Word got around at the hospital
The deaths was quickly within days from one another
The staff found it very odd that the deaths occurred the same way
There was a killer among us
“A killer,” I said, softly
I wasn’t a killer
They gave me permission to use the lethal injection
It was between them and me
They didn’t want anyone else to know
It was best that way
We knew the doctors wouldn’t allow the injection
The fingers was pointed in my direction
I confessed that I killed them
No one was please with me
The police arrested me
I was outrage; they had no right at all
The patients wanted to die that way
Was I guilty of the murders?


Posted by scareykatt at 2:48 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Friday, 24 January 2003

Me, A Racist
By Kazz Falcon

Say what?
How could I be one?
I had all types of friends
If I don’t like his kind, I won’t hang out with them
He has lots of nerve to call me a racist
It has never cross my mind
At least, I didn’t use the word, “Nigger”
Some words were nothing but trouble
Using a word doesn’t make a racist
I was describing someone by a color
I still don’t understand
I didn’t mean any harm
It was only a word
I truly felt like he insulted me
He hardly knew me
Yet, I, somehow, became a racist to him
What happened?
A black man was under the impression that I was a racist
For what?
Because I used the word, black
What’s up with that?
He offended me by the accusation
I did nothing wrong
He asked, “Why did I used that word in my poem?”
Hello, the writer put it in the story
Therefore, I didn’t want to change his story
She always wore black and had long black hair
She was known as the Black Angel
My poem was true to the writer’s story
Like I said, it was only a word
There was no harm done
Me, a racist


Posted by scareykatt at 2:47 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, 23 January 2003

Kissing Cousins
By Kazz Falcon

My son was involved with someone special
I had a bad feeling about Ashley
Hmm, she was a bad girl
It wasn’t what you were thinking
Ashley was a sweet, loving girl we ever met
Who ever thought love could turn in something awful
She has the mostly gentle touch, beautiful hair and a good heart
I couldn’t describe her any better than that
She was perfect in every way for Brad
I could go on forever about her
A twisted fate entered in their perfect world
We hardly knew anything about her family
We always wondered about it
I noticed something different
Was it the way she dresses?
Was it the way she talks?
Was it the way she sings?
Was it the way she acts?
For a reason, her smile looked so similar
I knew I saw that smile somewhere before
I couldn’t place it
I knew deep down there was something was up
I decided to looked in Ashley’s past
I didn’t left any stones unturned
I didn’t stop till I was looking for
I met Ashley’s father for the first time
I felt I knew him somewhere
Once again, I couldn’t place it
I dug for answers
He mentioned he was raised in Dallas
His last name was Carey
Carey, that name sounds familiar to me
What was his mother’s maiden name?
“Ekert,” he replied
That name rung a bell
They went up to his attic
He mentioned he was adoption by The Carey Family
He gave me the same smile I saw on his daughter
He showed me old family pictures
I noticed the old lady’s smile in the picture
It dawn on me that she was my mother
God, the smile
I haven’t seen the smile in decades till Ashley
I completely forgotten that smile
I was beyond shock
He couldn’t believed it either
He finally found his long lost sister
He searched for his family for a long time
He wondered what was wrong
I told him everything
He was in disbelief
Our kids can’t get married today
They was “kissing” cousins
 

Posted by scareykatt at 2:45 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 22 January 2003

Nancy’s Jealousy
By Kazz Falcon

I don’t know where to begin
I thought I was helping out my boyfriend
He needed some help in some classes
I couldn’t help him
We weren’t in the same classes
There was a girl named Susan, who likes Tom
I didn’t like that one bit
She knows that too
I told her to leave my man alone
I believed she back down from him
Then the situation came up from nowhere
Tom was flunking in some classes
His parents demanded him to get some counseling
Of course, Susan was in the top of the class
Tom suggested Susan for help
I couldn’t stand that
She would use that to get close to him
God, I really hate that
Why her?
I don’t trust her at all
Tom persuaded me to go with it
She was the only help for him
I kept an eye on them
Boy, she still got it bad for him
Damned her!  Damned her to hell!
I wanted so badly to tell her off
She has no right to be with my man
God, Susan really gets on my nerves
Who cares if we staged a fight in front of everyone?
Tom was still my boyfriend
No other women would have him at all
He was all mine
I got to admit
I was so jealous of Tom & Susan


Posted by scareykatt at 2:44 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 21 January 2003

Smart Plan
By Kazz Falcon

My charm really worked on the smart girl, Susan
She didn’t suspect a thing at all
My girlfriend and I staged a fight in front of everyone.
Everyone believed we broke up
We fooled them pretty good
Susan felt sorry for me
I was proud of this plan
Some people thought I was that stupid!
Fools, they were bloody fools
They would see how smart I was
I would pass my classes with flying colors
That would shut them up for good
Nothing would ever stop me
Susan basically helped me every night
I should become an actor
I used my charm as an advantage
It worked marvelous
Soon, I would get good grades, thanks to my plan
There was one glitch thou
Would you believed jealousy from my Nancy?
I didn’t count on that
It was the furthest thing from my mind
I spent every waking moment with Susan
Nancy really hated it very much
She figured I wouldn’t spend all my time with Susan
Boy, we were both wrong
The exams was valuable in those classes


Posted by scareykatt at 2:40 AM EST
Updated: Sunday, 1 October 2006 2:42 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 20 January 2003

Smooth Versus Smarts
By Kazz Falcon

I happened to fail some classes
I wasn’t that good in English or math
I hated those subjects
I felt I wasn’t that smart
They was hard classes
I got to pass those classes
My future relied on my good grades
I might as well quit school
Then again, I was a smooth talker
There was a certain girl who likes me
I could pretend I like Susan
She would do my homework for me
Why not I use her smarts?
She was getting what she wants - me
I wouldn’t mind spending time with her
For the time being, I would be hers
Of course, I would continue to see my girlfriend, Nancy
Susan can’t know about that
I was depending on her to help me pass the classes
The moment I pass my classes, I would dump the girl
Where is my phone?
I need to put my smart plan in motion


Posted by scareykatt at 2:40 AM EST
Updated: Sunday, 1 October 2006 2:42 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Sunday, 19 January 2003

In The Habit
By Kazz Falcon

These past few months, I was lazy
I hardly did anything
I mostly stay home and watch TV
I really don’t have an exciting life to live
It was so boring as hell
Even Hell was more exciting than me
My life has nothing to offer
I was out of work so long
I wasn’t hurting for money
I should be happy that I am living
But, I wasn’t happy
Life was passing me up
I felt like I wasn’t part of the world
No one noticed me
I was going nowhere
I put off lots of things, including my writing
It wasn’t a huge part of my life anymore
I just don’t care about anything
Why should I?
I wasn’t in the habit


Posted by scareykatt at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: Sunday, 1 October 2006 2:44 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink
Saturday, 18 January 2003

Beer
By Kazz Falcon

Beer
Cheers
NOT!
I don’t want to get that drunk
I was a punk for going over the limit
I dared to be foolish
My life was no longer a care
I stared at my beer, wanting more
I bared my troubles to the beer
I hope the problems would go away
The beer cheered me up a little while
I sat down at the bar, drunk
I zoomed off in the car
I was far away from home
Somebody got in the way while I drove too fast
I lasted till I ran into a building
The will to live wasn’t there
It made me ill to give up my life
A miracle occurred
A light appeared and showed me the truth
I heard him loud and clear
I had a drinking problem
Jesus was my saving grace
I had another chance to live
I danced in excitement
I committed myself to a rehab program
I received greetings to a sober life
I had a life without beer


Posted by scareykatt at 2:38 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Friday, 17 January 2003

Broadway Show?
By Kazz Falcon

The debt laid heavy on my soul
We had a few days to go
I wasn’t getting that much sleep
I kept turning in the bed
I gasped for the last straw
It crushed my inner being
How could I let it go that far in debt?
I thought the show was worth it
I put a fortune in the show
Damn, the enthused opportunity just carried me away
I wanted to make everyone know I could handle the pressure
I was way over my head
It was my first shot at Broadway
It could be my last
I didn’t want to blow my chance
Then again, I could ruin it for everyone
They deserve to know the truth
It could make us or break us
It was time to tell them about the debt
Would the curtain open up for the Broadway show?


Posted by scareykatt at 2:38 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Thursday, 16 January 2003

In Debt
By Kazz Falcon

What could I say?
I put all my hard earned money in my dream
I was excited about my first Broadway show
It wasn’t anything like that on Broadway before
The casting, the producer and the director were fabulous
Everything fell into their place
There was one slight problem
Even before the show start, I was already in debt
I haven’t told anyone yet
I didn’t want to let anyone down
They put their heart and soul in the show
I couldn’t break their hearts
We worked so hard
We put too much time and effort
Damn, what would I do?
I couldn’t bare the truth
I had a hard time with it
I hoped to God that the show would be a huge success
It would be a miracle itself
Everyone would still have jobs
The audience would keep on coming
The show must go on
How could it?
I was in debt


Posted by scareykatt at 2:37 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Wednesday, 15 January 2003

Shooting For Stardom
By Kazz Falcon

I set that goal a long time ago
It was very hard to break into show business
I wanted to be the next Fred Astaire
I freaked so many people with my dancing
They didn’t believe I had a chance
I had a chance to live my dream
I danced out my heart for everyone
Lance loved every minute of it
I took the offer I couldn’t refuse
He offered a dance contract to tour with his company
He knew I was one of the best dancers around
I was a hard act to follow
Joy shouted from my mouth
Roy couldn’t believe it
I showed him the contract
I blew the dance teacher away
“How about that? I am your first superstar. You’re no longer in debt,” I said.
Roy became so gay and cried
One of his students finally made it to big time
His time finally arrived in the spotlight
He received a lifetime achievement for forty years of hard work
We lived our dreams by shooting for stardom


Posted by scareykatt at 2:36 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Tuesday, 14 January 2003

New Attitude
By Kazz Falcon

A sweet person turned into a monster
He has an attitude like a drag queen
What a rude person he turned out to be
He wasn’t the same person he once was, a fun loving person
The day came when he started to hang out with the wrong crowd
I banged my head into the pole
It led me to a conclusion
The land of drugs entered his life
He fallen deeper in the pool
He thought it was cool
To most people, it was a foolish thing a person could do
There was nothing I could do about it
I have to sit and wait till he learn his lesson
I want no part of him
He lost a good friend
The cost was the drugs in his life
I had a host of other friends to spend my time with
They lend their support and love toward me
I tended to do the same thing
I set my best foot forward
I walked into a full room of partying
We talked highly of each other
I was so intrigue and felt comfortable with them
I became a part of them, vice versa
I noticed something far across the room
There was doom in somebody’ eyes
Eyes I didn’t recognize
The face was completely covered with darkness
He raced up to me
It became clearer for all to see
My God! It was my old friend
I haven’t seen him in a couple of years
A tall order of tears spilt into crying
It broke down the tainted wall
He fell to his knees
He couldn’t bare the pain in his stomach
I picked up the pieces instantly
He was sick of the drugs messing up his life
In the nick of time, he kicked the drugs out of his life
The old attitude replaced the new attitude


Posted by scareykatt at 2:35 AM EST
Post Comment | Permalink
Monday, 13 January 2003

Winds
By Kazz Falcon

Winds breezes into our lifes whenever it want to
It has no control
It craved wherever it goes
Whether it’s North, South, East or West
Any way was more like it
It wasn’t like birds
It played for Mother Nature
It soared from many directions
It goes to faraway places we have never seen before
Bad weather changed it to dangerous winds
The fierce and charging affect it has everywhere
It knocked things over and destroyed property
We hide for cover in the underground shelter
The winds has it ride all over the place
Slowly, but surely, things went back to normal
It left no tracks behind
The wind was invisible
There were no wings about the winds
They wasn’t birds flying freely, controlling their directions
It has their own ways to follow, no wings to fly with
Winds


Posted by scareykatt at 2:33 AM EST
Updated: Sunday, 1 October 2006 2:35 AM EDT
Post Comment | Permalink

Newer | Latest | Older